If you feel like to laugh or at least smile, you have come to the right place ! A while ago my best Friend offered me a book named “Plouc toujours” (translation: hick forever) and said: “This is sooooo you!! ahah!”. This book is a compilation of the funniest French phrases that are totally hick. When I started to read this book in the subway, I almost died laughing in front of everybody… she was so true 🙂 I have always been fascinated by the strange expressions and I especially love to use the forgotten and hick phrases because they can be really hilarious. I have picked some of them directly from my grand-parent’s vocabulary (they were farmers in Normandy) or from my Dad who also has this same passion for the funny phrases. Today I have selected and translated for you 25 funny French idioms that are essential to have in your hick vocal list to impress your French friends, family in law, boss or the girl at the French Bakery in your neighboorhoud! What a great cure to cheer up with the arrival of winter right?;)

Here are my 25 favorites French phrases or How to sound like a French hick (me) !

1. On est pas sorti de l’auberge * Translation: we are not out of the inn * It means : it will take a while before we solve the problem.
2. C’est à se taper le cul par terre * Translation: you would break your ass on the floor * It means : it is delicious
3. “Saperlipopette” or  “Bon sang de bonsoir” *  Translation: good blood of good evening* It means: Damned!
4. T’as craqué ton slip ou quoi? * Translation: did you break your underpants ? * It means: are you crazy?
5. J’y go d’agneau * Translation: I am going lamb * It means: I am leaving
6. Cours Forest, cours * Translation: Run forest, run * It means: hurry up
7. C’est pas la mer à boire * Translation: It’s not the sea to drink * It means: it’s not complicated
8. La classe à Dallas * Translation:  the class at Dallas * It means: very elegant
9. J’ai la patate or J’ai la pêche * Translation: I have the potato or I have the peach * It means: I am energized
10. T’as une haleine à décoller le papier peint * Translation: you have a breath that could peel off the wallpaper * It means: your breath is horrible
11. Ya baleine sous gravillon * Translation: there is a whale under the gravel * It means: there is something hidden
12. Ca craint du boudin * Translation: it sucks of the sausage * It means: this situation is embarrassing
13. Ca a marché comme sur des roulettes * Translation: it worked like on castors * It means: It went good
14. Les doigts dans le nez * Translation: the fingers in the nose * It means: no problem
15. En voiture Simone * Translation : in the car Simone * It means: Let’s go
16. Va te faire cuire un oeuf * Translation: go and cook yourself an egg * It means: leave me alone
17. Autant pisser dans un violon * Translation: it’s like pissing in a violin * It means: it’s useless
18. Dacodac * There is no translation * It means: Okidoki
19. Je suis chaud comme une baraque à frite * Translation: I am hot like a chip shop * It means: I’m on fire or I’m motivated
20. J’ai les dents du fond qui baignent * Translation: my back teeth are bathing * It means: I’m full
21. Il fait un vent a décorner les boeufs * Translation: there is a wind able to dehorn cows * It means: it is blowing great guns
22. Faut pas pousser meme dans les orties * Translation: don’t push grandma in the nettles * It means: don’t go too far
23. On a du pain sur la planche * Translation: we have bread on the board * It means: we have a lot to do
24. Ca fait pas rire les mouettes * Translation: It is not making laugh seagulls * It means: it is not funny
25. Pastis par temps bleu, pastis délicieux * Translation: Pastis (anise-flavoured spirit and apéritif appreciated by hicks while playing pétanque or at the camping in France) with blue sky, Pastis delicious * It means: I’m happy to drink Pastis

Bonus: If you want to achieve the highest level of the squareness, your sentence can be followed by a name that rhyme with the sentence. Here are some great suggestions:

• Tu l’as dit Bouffi * Translation: You just said it Bouffi * It means : I totally agree with you
• A la tienne Etienne! * Translation: To yours Etienne * It means: Cheers
• Cool Raoul! * Translation: same * It means: Relax
• A l’aise Blaise * Translation: comfortable Blaise * It means: comfortable

I hope you enjoyed reading these French expressions and at least smiled once. Which one is your favorite? If you know any other French phrases that are very funny, I would love to read them in the comments! Bisous, Melissa ♡